Hairball Hassles

November 6, 2009


My cat Livvy is 15 months old, and she’s never had a hairball. Is that weird? Not that I’m disappointed or anything! It’s just that.. all my other tabby cats coughed up the little balls o’ barfy fuzz regularly (like, every other day, it seemed!) Livvy has not had one. She has emitted a “cough” from time to time; it’s something like a sneeze and a hack. Hmm. It’s kind of comical, when she does it. It’s sudden, loud, and then she acts like nothing has happened.

So today, we were all sitting in our Living Room, enjoying light conversation and our morning coffee before the day’s chores come crashing in. Our kitty Livvy was meandering around us, spying the assorted bagels that the children were munching. She came very close to sniff the one in my daughter’s hand, and suddenly let out a loud HACK. For a moment, I thought this was THE MOMENT. We stopped our chatting and looked at her, expecting one of those little balls o’…. well, you know…. at any moment.

Nope. She gathered up her composure and trotted across the room, unaffected.

I can’t BELIEVE I felt a tinge of disappointment! What is WRONG with me?!

Anyway, the conversation turned toward Livvy’s babyhood, and then to the Hairball Incident. I looked it up on this blog and read it aloud to the kids. We had a good laugh over it, all over again. It wasn’t very funny at the time, though….. šŸ˜

I publish it again, here, for your reading pleasure. Looking back, it’s pretty funny– at the EXACT moments I tried to make phone calls, it was as if someone flipped the Hairball Ejector Switch on the cat… it was all timed so well that I still wonder if it was all only a coincidence, or something more sinister…. [insert creepy organ music]

Here it is. Enjoy the laugh. At my expense, HAHA!!! šŸ˜‰

You know it’s going to be “one of those days” when you’re on the phone, making a VERY IMPORTANT phone call looking for employment, and the cat decides to choose THIS moment and THIS room to hack up her hairball. Yep.


So I’m on the phone, exchanging pleasantries with the secretary, and Livvy saunters in. Suddenly and without warning, she starts that HORRID retching sound. I’m trying to remain cool on the phone, but am franctically signalling for my son to GET THAT CAT OUTTA THE ROOM. His eyes grow big as he realizes what’s going on, then starts calling loudly, “Livvy! LIVVY! You got a hairball? Come here!! Come on!”


I finish the call and hang up the phone and all is quiet. Preoccupied, I call the next telephone number in my list. Lo and behold, the cat walks back into the room and STARTS UP again! GAHHHHHHH!

And I don’t know if it is the bizarreness (is that a word?) of the moment, but my cockatiel then starts a huge commotion, squeaking and clacking in his cage…. ????

I’m doomed to be unemployed… the animals are against me….


P.S. My son wanted to let you all know that I EXAGGERATED his part in this story. Creative license, you know. šŸ˜‰ Truth be told, he didn’t call Livvy as loudly as I said he did.

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